Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
