i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
