Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
