hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
