so that wasnt chicken after all
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
