My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Randomize
