Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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