HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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