You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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