I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Randomize
