Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
