The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
