i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
