At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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