Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
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