There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
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