Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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