If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
