I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
