I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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