I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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