david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
You're earring is so big in my mouth
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
