Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
