I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
