why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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