You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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