he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
This house was built for laser tag.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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