so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
