Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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