do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
