you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
