I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
