i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
