Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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