And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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