Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
