I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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