she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
