She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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