K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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