i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
