It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
