i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I will pee on everything he values.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
