Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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