8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
PANTIES FOUND
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