I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
