dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
