his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
