So drunk its hurt
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I would fuck him just for his dog
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
