My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I think your dad took our porno
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
