Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
